Currently Listening Eyes Open By Snow Patrol see related

*SiGh* ...Of ReLiEf... FiNaLLy!!!

this has (by far) been my craziest summer yet... in a very bad way, sadly... but i am now happy to report that i am happy again (for the most part)... still some things that need to get worked out, of course... but its just nice to finally be happy again.  on that note, im off to bed so i can rest up for another good day of summer!!

love my lovers.

Currently Listening A New Day Has Come By Celine Dion see related

AcTuaLLy EnJoYiNg ThE sUmMeR...

so for the first time ever, im actually enjoying the summer for some reason.  its not like much has really changed, but suddenly i have this whole new outlook on life.  well... not completely, but its better than it was.  the thing thats funny about it is the fact that i dont know what the difference is just all of a sudden.  im working at the covenant now.  elana just came to visit which was awesome!  and after this im looking forward to catching up with some friends, and hearing some other peoples dirt.  i think being more involved/informed about other peoples days/problems/issues keeps my mind off of my own.  the jobs and class also help keep my mind on more productive things these days, which is good.  more later, b/c i have to put a work order in now.

love my lovers.

Currently Listening The Very Best Of Cher By Cher see related

so somehow i went from not having any summer job to having 3.... yeahhhh.... so heres what happened.  i had my interview at vickies, and they pretty much told me that i was "on the team" ...but then about 4 days later, i get this mail from them saying that there arent any positions left in that location.... whatever.  they wanted me to work at the one in robinson... but thats too far to travel every day.... so i ended up just saying no to that whole thing.

so after that, i just kept putting in more and more applications to the point where i lost count of how many i had been through.  so a few days after doing that, i get a call from this place called the covenant.  the covenant is a type of retirement home that has independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing units.  i will be working as their receptionist there on sundays!  im excited because it looks like a really cool job, and the people seem nice, too!

so then, after getting that job, i hear back from EnP, where my Elana works greeting.  she had told me that i could probably get a job there pretty easily, and i was trying for anything i could get, and i landed a job there as well greeting with her during the week!  THEN after my orientation today, (which was pretty cool), i got another phone call from betsy ann chocolates!  this lady who i had talked to when i was there called me and told me that she didnt even need to interview me for the job and that it was mine if i wanted it!! haha... so that will be happening on saturdays and one other day of the week as well. 

after all of this work is started, i will then be adding 2 classes to the agenda... so its going to get busy and stressful most likely... i just want to still have SOME free time for my friends... most likely sunday evenings... so well see.  i just hope that i can make some decent money. 

anyway, thats basically been my life lately.  that, and hanging out with my loves who mean the world to me!!  (brett, elana, debbie, lewis, dana, etc...etc...!!)  youre all AMAZING, and i LOVE every single SECOND i spend with you all!!

well its late, and im going to go try to get my head together with all of these new responsibilities taking over my life... bleh... in a good way.... for now anyways.

love my lovers.

Currently Listening Unwell By matchbox twenty see related

SuMmEr JoBs WeLcOmE...

i need a summer job desperately!!!  this boredom and free time is going to take over my life.  i dunno what to do with myself.  tonight is a 6 mile walk... but somehow i know that ill need all of that time to think... but the more i think, the more i get angry.  the more i get angry, the more i get depressed.  the more i get depressed, the worse the boredom gets... its a cycle... a cycle that just wont quit, and i HATE it.  WHY!?!?!?!?!

love my lovers.

Currently Listening Just Like a Pill By Pink see related

LiViNg In CoMpLeTe HeLL...

now that im home, and things have gone down, im a mess.  if it werent for my friends who are always by my side with the right advice or the right kind of support that i need, then i dont know where i would be to be quite honest.

home life absolutely sucks.  i actually am looking forward to going back to school just so i dont have to deal with the constant bullshit that i have to hear and live with day in and day out.  i wish i had my own apartment... or better yet... i wish i could magically make things good again, and share an apartment with my Brett.  just thinking about everything thats going on around me gives me a constant headache that never seems to go away.  if i had it my way, (as of right now), i would only speak to my family once a week... things always seem better when im not around... that makes catching up always nice.  secondly, i would fix everything that is wrong right now.  i need MY companion back.  i want it to be the way it was.  we fucking took each other for granted.... and now i can see that.  forget other people... other people... esp where he lives, are skanks and whores.  just thinking about anything like that where im not involved makes me absolutely sick with anger and disgust.  i just dont know anymore...

from what i could tell as little as a month ago, this summer was going to be very promising... but now it has definitely gone to hell in a handbasket.  i cant take it.  my summer classes start soon, i still need to get a job so i can earn money for the 343489739874... things i have to pay for and save up for, and the only thing that was going to get me through that was my love life (my love), and my friends.  my friends are all busy, and the other thing is shaky at best.  it will be okay, though.  i know it will.

love my lovers.